i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it's like iHOP with fire
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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