I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
