I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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