He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
