I hate your face
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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