I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
