Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
