My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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