That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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