so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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