Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
this hospital has no fireball
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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