we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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