ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
okay pat passed out under dana's car
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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