k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
