On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
