found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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