i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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