i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
