Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
