I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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