Whod you bang
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
