I want to make a zoo with you.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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