My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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