Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
