its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
