Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
