Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
