so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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