I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i believe in u and ur pee
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
