had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
