Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
