did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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