i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The best revenge is premature balding
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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