I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
