I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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