Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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