Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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