I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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