the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
