i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
