Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
