Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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