I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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