I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
