just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
