At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
