I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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