erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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