HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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