What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
