She is in my trunk
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
