I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
