I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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